Tomorrow is February 1, but it's like January 1 to me. The celebrating of Christmas, New Year's and Graham's birthday are behind, the Christmas clean-up and operation organization behind. February 1 seems like the perfect time for a fresh start. Resolutions are not my thing. Attainable, realistic goals are absolutely my thing. The only problem is that attainable and realistic=waiting to come up with the perfect plan. Which never happens. So this year I am approaching things differently. I'm ready and I'm diving in.
The last ten years have been a whirlwind of pregnancy, babies, graduate school, home updates, moves and everyday living in between all of that. The blissful, the challenging, and everything in-between. My (unwritten) goals in this season have been to survive (and sustain my people) and be present. I'm happy to say, I've succeeded! Such an over-achiever I am. :) In all seriousness, realistic expectations are the key to contentment, I am convinced of this. Contentment is good, but I find that contentment can transition into complacency, and that is not good. But dreams. Dreams are in another category. I've prided myself in practicality. After all practical is safe, good, and way less risky. I've never been comfortable with the idea of dreaming, because what if my dreams don't come to fruition? I'll be disappointed. Plus, FEARS. All of the fears. What if I risk to much, lose to much in the process? The "what if's", the "might have been's" the "shouldn't have's" and on and on. So I've subconsciously categorized the concept of dreaming as something for creatives and risk-takers. Dreaming, being open to God's purposes and plans, are my focus in setting goals again.
In this season with small children at home, I've found it challenging to set goals with 1)little "quiet" time to think and plan 2) needs and practicality trumping wants/wishes/dreams 3)a waning ability to focus combined with the sea of information available on the internet which provide ample opportunity to fritter away every last ounce of spare time-which wasn't much to begin with. I start out shopping for a book one minute and the next thing I know, Lydia is awake from her nap and I still have 10 things left to be done. And then I feel resentful towards the kids for the lack of productivity. Craziness! My brain gets constipated with the amount of "should's" and "want to's" and "gotta's" that fill my short term memory.
I've been reading Lara Casey's "Make it Happen" and per her suggestion, I am looking back at 2014 to begin the process of goal setting. I believe the tools in this book and in Lara's power sheets are going to have a laxative effect on my brain. It's no surprise to anyone who knows me well that I am illustrating my thought process with potty talk. Ha! So here I sit, combing through my Instagram feed and hard drive for some reflection and perspective.
My aim for 2015:
1. Carve out weekly time to pray/think/plan/dream.
2. Work the plan with diligence and grace.
3. Be open-handed with said plan--surrendered--knowing that God's good purposes will prevail.
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