Making it Happen in 2015: Perspective and Aim

Hello blog.  It's been one year and I miss writing here!  Without further ado, let the external processing begin.  :)

Tomorrow is February 1, but it's like January 1 to me.  The celebrating of Christmas, New Year's and Graham's birthday are behind, the Christmas clean-up and operation organization behind. February 1 seems like the perfect time for a fresh start. Resolutions are not my thing.  Attainable, realistic goals are absolutely my thing.  The only problem is that attainable and realistic=waiting to come up with the perfect plan.  Which never happens.  So this year I am approaching things differently.  I'm ready and I'm diving in.    

The last ten years have been a whirlwind of pregnancy, babies, graduate school, home updates, moves and everyday living in between all of that.  The blissful, the challenging, and everything in-between.  My (unwritten) goals in this season have been to survive (and sustain my people) and be present.  I'm happy to say, I've succeeded!  Such an over-achiever I am.  :)  In all seriousness, realistic expectations are the key to contentment, I am convinced of this.  Contentment is good, but I find that contentment can transition into complacency, and that is not good.  But dreams.  Dreams are in another category.  I've prided myself in practicality. After all practical is safe, good, and way less risky.  I've never been comfortable with the idea of dreaming, because what if my dreams don't come to fruition?  I'll be disappointed.  Plus, FEARS. All of the fears. What if I risk to much, lose to much in the process? The "what if's", the "might have been's" the "shouldn't have's" and on and on.  So I've subconsciously categorized the concept of dreaming as something for creatives and risk-takers.   Dreaming, being open to God's purposes and plans, are my focus in setting goals again. 

In this season with small children at home, I've found it challenging to set goals with 1)little "quiet" time to think and plan 2) needs and practicality trumping wants/wishes/dreams 3)a waning ability to focus combined with the sea of information available on the internet which provide ample opportunity to fritter away every last ounce of spare time-which wasn't much to begin with. I start out shopping for a book one minute and the next thing I know, Lydia is awake from her nap and I still have 10 things left to be done.  And then I feel resentful towards the kids for the lack of productivity. Craziness!  My brain gets constipated with the amount of "should's" and "want to's" and "gotta's" that fill my short term memory.  

I've been reading Lara Casey's "Make it Happen" and per her suggestion, I am looking back at 2014 to begin the process of goal setting.  I believe the tools in this book and in Lara's power sheets are going to have a laxative effect on my brain.  It's no surprise to anyone who knows me well that I am illustrating my thought process with potty talk.  Ha!  So here I sit, combing through my Instagram feed and hard drive for some reflection and perspective. 

My aim for 2015:

1.  Carve out weekly time to pray/think/plan/dream.

2.  Work the plan with diligence and grace.  

3.  Be open-handed with said plan--surrendered--knowing that God's good purposes will prevail. 

I want to remember....

These days, I put on my peace-keeper "hat" often.  It's a delicate balance, allowing the kids room to work the conflict out and knowing when to step in to arbitrate.  Today, I witnessed some sweet moments that I want to be sure to remember.  

This afternoon we were in the backyard, I asked Graham to put Camille into the baby swing and buckle her up.  As he was hoisting her cute self up there she said.  "Graham you have super powers!"  To which he quickly responded "Camille, you have "cute-tonium"!  

While on the swingset, I said "Isn't it a beautiful day, guys?"  To which Graham replied "every day is a beautiful day, because God made it that way."  Wise words.  May we truly see God's beauty EVERY day, son.  

Camille was already tucked into bed, Hannah Reece came in a few minutes later and said "I'm sorry it took me so long to come in, but here I am!  Let's go to sleep now."  :)  

I don't think that it's coincidence that on the days I "back-off" a little, usually when I'm having a tired, achy, super pregnant day (like today) that the kids really pitch in and help each other out.  I pray that they will be dear friends for life, loving each other unconditionally.

Hello 2013

It's a new year! 

I love fresh starts.  I don't love resolutions.  Maybe because I have terrible follow through?  I am thankful that every day is great for a fresh start! God's word says "His mercies are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:23) Praying that my (spiritual) eyes would be open to SEE God's mercies anew each day and receive them with a thankful heart.   

My "one little word" for this year is ENJOY.  Last year was work, hard work.  My (unannounced) word for 2012 was INTENTIONAL.  Bringing the kids home to school last January was an intentional choice, led by the Lord's prompting.  I am thankful that with intention (and obedience) came great provision, protection and relational and spiritual growth.  

My aim this year is to intentionally ENJOY the presence and relationships that the Lord has provided.  Enjoy our family.  Enjoy our friends.  ENJOY walking with with GOD.  

Having been a follower of Jesus Christ for almost 31 years, many of those years were spent striving, performing and working to deepen and cultivate my faith.  Often times in my own strength.  

In the last ten years, God has done a mighty work in my heart.  He has slowly, gently led me to a place of peace.  This has been a gradual process.  Like any relationship, it's stronger when time is spent together, I am learning so much by spending time in God's word and being quiet before Him. The real change has been in realizing that God pursues ME.  God loves me!  I can rest in Him.  His strength, His peace, His love.   

Jesus said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30

For years I glossed over this passage and continued reading, looking for the "to do's" and clear application points.  How could I be a better Christian?  What do I do? Well, yes, but what about "working out" my faith, Jesus?  What about my quiet times with you?  That isn't just going to happen you know!   What about sharing my faith with others?  What about being "salt and light"? Where should I go, how do I do it?   Striving, striving, striving.  Until I could strive no more.  

You know what?  Jesus met me there.  In that place of weariness and futile striving.  Not with condemnation, but with gentleness and patience.  With rest for my weary soul.  Oh how I love Him!  Truly, his burden is light.  The heaviness that I've felt for all of these years is the fruit of fear and self-reliance.  Fear of man.  Fear of failure.  Fear of not measuring up or not being/doing enough to meet God's expectations.  Fear of letting people down. The freedom from all of that is exhilarating!   At times I am still tempted to fear and give in to anxiety, but when I choose to trust GOD to do his work in and through me, leading me every step of the way---there is true freedom.  Surrender.  Peace. The only voice I need to respond to is the Lord's.

Until marrying Dan and experiencing the Presbyterian tradition first-hand, I never new what confessions or catechisms or any of those words meant.  I thought confessions and catechisms were for Catholics only. Now I know that a confession (of faith) is merely a unified statement of belief, based on scripture.   I LOVE the first line of the Westminster Shorter Catechism (inspiration for my word this year):

Question:  What is the chief end of man?  
Answer:  Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy him forever.  

ENJOY.

New Years Interview 2012

20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

Dan:  I'm too blessed to pick one. :)  Starting Classical Conversations (homeschool) with the kids and our (Dan + Sarah's) trip to Boston.  

Sarah:  First year of homeschool.  Becoming more intentional in my role as a mother and wife...and all that entails...getting to REALLY know our children and discipling them.  The trip to Boston was such a treat for our marriage.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Dan: Dealing with Aunt Pat's diagnosis. (ALS)  

Sarah: First year of homeschool.  Adjusting my perspectives on education....my compulsory teacher training and experience makes this extra challenging!  Also, this season of the Lord "pruning" my character in so many ways is painful....but such a true blessing.  I am grateful and pray that the fruit God will eventually produce in my heart would be lasting and nourishing to those around me.  

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?  

Dan:  We have learned a more Biblical perspective of money.  Becoming more disciplined in this area to begin to (significantly) reduce our debt.

Sarah:  Getting pregnant with Lydia Kate!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?  Fist year paying self-employment tax (as full-time ordained clergy) YIKES!

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.

Dan: Consistent.  Blessed.  Calm.  

Sarah:  Intentional.  Pruning.  Peaceful.  

7. What were the best books you read this year?

Dan:  I didn't read any books this year.

Sarah: (still reading) Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Dan: Sarah and our kids.

Sarah: Dan and our children. Also, deepening my friendships with Jill S., Rebecca Y. + Sarah P. 

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Dan:  I think more like an "adult" now.  From every perspective.  I feel like I have a better perspective on what matters---and what is just drivel.  There's so much drivel in these world.  I don't perform for people like I used to...even people I respect.  

Sarah:  I feel like I've changed in so many ways.  I'm becoming steadier...not so shaken by every little external change or experience.  I still struggle with fear in some ways, but the Holy Spirit has filled me with peace, as I learn to trust God and lean into him more in my day to day life.  

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

Dan:  I have no emotions.  ;)  Emotional growth for me would be experiencing emotions.  I think I'm becoming more compassionate.  

Sarah:  Some areas I am working on:  No more martyring.  Measuring/expressing my expectations clearly.  Setting boundaries emotionally, realizing that I am not responsible for the happiness/contentment of others.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?  

Dan:  I've realized that it's ALL the Lord.  I trust God.  God is sovereign.  My only challenge is to see what God is doing and see how I'm a part of it.  I don't have to create it.  

Sarah:  I'm learning to really rest in God's presence.  No more striving.  No more performing.  I don't have the energy for all of that.  It's life + energy draining.  Jesus came to give life ...truly I'm learning that his yolk is easy and his burden is light.  With God's help I'm shedding the burdens and weights in life, Jesus is strong enough to carry those.  I want to live in light of the joy and hope that comes with salvation in Christ!  Time spent in the Word and enjoying God's presence in all areas of my life will be my priority in 2013.    

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

Dan: I shrunk!  (256-218)

Sarah:  Growing a baby.  :)

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

Dan:  I enjoy conversating with people more.  

Sarah:  I am learning to be present and really working on being a better listener....which means being quieter.  Significant, lasting relationships are built on trust and "leaning in" to another person (friend or family) no matter what life brings....

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Dan:  Preaching.  (at work)  A finished project.  (at home) 

Sarah: Learning more about who God has created our children to be.  Seeing some fruit from training the kids to contribute to household responsibilities.  Their help is such a blessing as our family grows!

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Dan:  Striking a balance of engagement.  (at work)  Being present.  Even when things need to be "done".   (home)

Sarah:  Feeling (often) that I am at the end of myself.  Self-sacrifice.  It is a joy and a challenge all at the same time.  

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Dan: Tetris.   

Sarah:  Time reading articles/blogs.  I've pared down "what" I read to (mostly) enriching, challenging, encouraging material...but I still sense that I need to be more intentional about "when" I do these things.  For instance, not reading a blog while Graham is working on his math lesson.  Using my time wisely is a goal for 2013.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?  

Dan:  Spending it with family.

Sarah:  Engaging and discipling our children and investing in our marriage.  

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

Dan:  Just listen to your wife.  

Sarah:  Be intentional.  Trust God.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you.

Dan:

Sarah:  

a peek at our week {in pictures}

My goal is to delete/edit my pics from the week on Friday nights.  Here are the first "fruits" of my photo purge/sort.  We're easing back in to some scheduled days and I'm trying to make sure to build it time for things that are energizing and enjoyable to me so that I don't slip into "Mom-the-martyr" mode.  :)  Organizing and journaling on our pictures is one of those activities for sure!  After the joys and challenges of the week, a little memory-keeping exercise like this reminds me of all I have to be thankful for.

Dan came home on Monday night after interviewing our new church preschool director ready to celebrate!  It's been quite stressful at work this summer and this was a huge relief..  He called the emergency babysitting squad (Grandma and Grandpa) and they scooted right over to watch the kids for an hour while we noshed on some cheese fries at Rib City.  No eating after 7 is out the window when you need to celebrate.  :)

Went to the library on Monday, which means a gigantic pile of books and 7 dvd's (the library's limit)   I think they were watching Princess and the Pop Star Veggie Tales with every blanket in the house piled on top of their bodies.  I almost forgot Millie was in this pic!  Can you spot her? 

This boy is so sweet on his sisters, and right now, Miss Millie has his affections.  The feeling is mutual! In fact when she got into some trouble she ran to Graham to tell on me!  "Grammy....momma....me feel so sad!"  So, so pitiful.  

Our little "pantry raider" is now the "panty raider"  ;) This pic is going to get me into trouble one day with Camille....I'm sure of it. (Don't worry, this blog is private only for you, family and super close friends!)  

Sitting across from these three at lunch...I was overcome with gratitude to God for entrusting me with their lives and hearts!  

Graham getting in Daddy's sermon writing process.  Dan is intentional about helping our children understand and be a part of the ministry God has called him to.  One of the many things I admire about him. 

We rearranged Graham's room and sorted out  all of the Lego (a friday morning tradition).  A clean slate in the Lego room always gets the creative juices flowing.  Here, Hannah Reece is demonstrating her awesome Hello Kitty village.  She is so proud of it!  She asked me to take pictures at every angle; here is another:

our blue-eyed beauty

our buddies Asher and Jadon came to play.  We loved how the kids all piled on the sofas right away and started looking at books and reading to each other.  Makes some homeschool momma's hearts feel happy!  I  enjoy stimulating conversation with their mom, Sarah, politics, theology...nothing's off limits.  Grateful for friendships like these.

So sweet!  This little cocked-head pose is how Camille poses for the camera lately.  

Thank you, Lord.  

  

letter to a friend

I'm quick-posting this letter as a record for me to refer to and share with other friends if needed in the future...a little about Camille's ear situation and dairy allergy....a little on Graham's past food allergies....a lot on corn-free.
*************************************************************************
Hi friend!

I'm so sorry about the food allergies!  I checked your blog and read up on you guys.  :)  Gosh those babies are getting big, girl!  *** looking more like a little boy instead of a baby.  :)  Cutie pies.  I noticed that you said *** having trouble with his ears.  We actually had the tube surgery scheduled for Camille for "eustachian tube disorder" as the ENT put it.  She had SO many ear infections in her first year.  Her ears were just full of nastiness.  We too, went to a pediatric chiro.  and the first thing she told us was to eliminate dairy.  Well, we didn't notice a huge difference until the second month.  By the end of the second month, plus the chiro. treatments. The fluid had cleared!  I could not believe it.  So grateful!  I'm so glad  *** ears are getting better.

Anyway, here are some of the resources I promised.  Do y'all have a Trader Joe's?  I know there are several in **** so you may have to travel a bit, but most of their snacks and such are corn free.  They have many "convenience" foods that are minimally processed and without preservatives that contain corn. Also, we found that the little market near the exit at IKEA has lots of snacks and most (if not all) are also corn free.  I guess they don't grow much corn in Sweden.  ;)  Both of those places have economical choices.  And of course Whole Foods is a good bet, too-just sometimes a bit pricey.  G. loved it when I'd take him to Whole Foods for a "treat" from their bakery...lots of corn free stuff there and the folks are SUPER helpful. Enjoy Life is a great brand-I'm almost certain that ALL of their products are corn free.  Graham loved their snack bars and mini-cookies.

I'm sure you noticed this, but often "gluten free" contains corn products, as corn gluten is an readily available and cheap substitute for wheat gluten. Stay away also from any drinks other than water, milk and 100% fruit juice.  Popsicles and ice cream are another major offender, try the Edy's (or maybe breyers?) juice pops-my kids love those.  Another thing I wanted to mention, since know you love to bake, is that baking powder contains cornstarch, you can find some at Whole Foods (and maybe TJ's) that is corn free.  Also, typical vanilla extract contains corn syrup-just pick up the "pure" vanilla extract next time you go to Wal-Mart, sometimes it even says "no corn syrup" on the front.  Chicken.  Yes, most chicken is corn fed.  For those truly sensitive to corn, this can be a big deal.  Many labels say what type of feed is used, but you can also ask the butcher at the grocery store, or try ordering from a local butcher if you have a hard time finding some.

I've enjoyed these websites in my quest to "allergen-free":
-  this is one of my favorites-simple ingredients, not all corn free, but most are.  Many "whole" ingredients here:  http://blog.superhealthykids.com/

-another whole-foods goodie  http://www.raisehealthyeaters.com/

-http://paleodietlifestyle.com/paleo-diet-recipes/   lots of corn-free recipes here for the whole family

-http://angelaskitchen.com/recipes/have-other-allergies/corn-free-recipes/

Oh ***, I wish I could give you a big hug right now, you can do this momma!  I am praying that the Holy Spirit would undergird your efforts and strengthen your mind, body and spirit now.  I hope this message doesn't come across as bossy or know-it-all.  It's written with love knowing full-well how overwhelming this process can be.  I so wish I could go grocery shopping with you.  I remember I just wanted someone to walk down the aisles with me and show me what to buy.  :)


Love y'all!
Sarah

New Friends

Tonight we spent time with our new friends, Hadiqa and Ayesha.  These young women are international students from Pakistan, spending a semester in an exchange program at a local university.

Our pastor for missions connected us with them to be a "host family".  He told us that 80% of international students never step foot in an American home during their time here in the U.S.  We feel like it is such a unique opportunity for us and for our children to get to know these sweet ladies and broaden our worldview at the same time.

We shared a lovely "American" meal and lots of laughter at California Pizza Kitchen  :)   I feel honored that Hadiqa and Ayesha shared so honestly about their families, culture and Muslim faith and we were able to do the same.  Our friend Rebecca joined us and it was so neat to listen to these young women relate to each other.  They told me that as their host family I am their American Mom.  I love that, what a privilege!  I am happy to have children who know how to go potty by themselves.  ;)  ha!  Our daughters thought they were so beautiful.  Every time I looked up, they were staring and smiling at them.

Women like Rebecca, Hadiqa and Ayesha give me hope for the future.  They have a passion to grow and learn about people, other cultures, and other points of view.  It is a beautiful thing!   I pray that God would be glorified in their lives and for generations to come.