Hello 2013

It's a new year! 

I love fresh starts.  I don't love resolutions.  Maybe because I have terrible follow through?  I am thankful that every day is great for a fresh start! God's word says "His mercies are new every morning." (Lamentations 3:23) Praying that my (spiritual) eyes would be open to SEE God's mercies anew each day and receive them with a thankful heart.   

My "one little word" for this year is ENJOY.  Last year was work, hard work.  My (unannounced) word for 2012 was INTENTIONAL.  Bringing the kids home to school last January was an intentional choice, led by the Lord's prompting.  I am thankful that with intention (and obedience) came great provision, protection and relational and spiritual growth.  

My aim this year is to intentionally ENJOY the presence and relationships that the Lord has provided.  Enjoy our family.  Enjoy our friends.  ENJOY walking with with GOD.  

Having been a follower of Jesus Christ for almost 31 years, many of those years were spent striving, performing and working to deepen and cultivate my faith.  Often times in my own strength.  

In the last ten years, God has done a mighty work in my heart.  He has slowly, gently led me to a place of peace.  This has been a gradual process.  Like any relationship, it's stronger when time is spent together, I am learning so much by spending time in God's word and being quiet before Him. The real change has been in realizing that God pursues ME.  God loves me!  I can rest in Him.  His strength, His peace, His love.   

Jesus said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11:28-30

For years I glossed over this passage and continued reading, looking for the "to do's" and clear application points.  How could I be a better Christian?  What do I do? Well, yes, but what about "working out" my faith, Jesus?  What about my quiet times with you?  That isn't just going to happen you know!   What about sharing my faith with others?  What about being "salt and light"? Where should I go, how do I do it?   Striving, striving, striving.  Until I could strive no more.  

You know what?  Jesus met me there.  In that place of weariness and futile striving.  Not with condemnation, but with gentleness and patience.  With rest for my weary soul.  Oh how I love Him!  Truly, his burden is light.  The heaviness that I've felt for all of these years is the fruit of fear and self-reliance.  Fear of man.  Fear of failure.  Fear of not measuring up or not being/doing enough to meet God's expectations.  Fear of letting people down. The freedom from all of that is exhilarating!   At times I am still tempted to fear and give in to anxiety, but when I choose to trust GOD to do his work in and through me, leading me every step of the way---there is true freedom.  Surrender.  Peace. The only voice I need to respond to is the Lord's.

Until marrying Dan and experiencing the Presbyterian tradition first-hand, I never new what confessions or catechisms or any of those words meant.  I thought confessions and catechisms were for Catholics only. Now I know that a confession (of faith) is merely a unified statement of belief, based on scripture.   I LOVE the first line of the Westminster Shorter Catechism (inspiration for my word this year):

Question:  What is the chief end of man?  
Answer:  Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy him forever.  

ENJOY.

New Years Interview 2012

20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

Dan:  I'm too blessed to pick one. :)  Starting Classical Conversations (homeschool) with the kids and our (Dan + Sarah's) trip to Boston.  

Sarah:  First year of homeschool.  Becoming more intentional in my role as a mother and wife...and all that entails...getting to REALLY know our children and discipling them.  The trip to Boston was such a treat for our marriage.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Dan: Dealing with Aunt Pat's diagnosis. (ALS)  

Sarah: First year of homeschool.  Adjusting my perspectives on education....my compulsory teacher training and experience makes this extra challenging!  Also, this season of the Lord "pruning" my character in so many ways is painful....but such a true blessing.  I am grateful and pray that the fruit God will eventually produce in my heart would be lasting and nourishing to those around me.  

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?  

Dan:  We have learned a more Biblical perspective of money.  Becoming more disciplined in this area to begin to (significantly) reduce our debt.

Sarah:  Getting pregnant with Lydia Kate!

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?  Fist year paying self-employment tax (as full-time ordained clergy) YIKES!

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.

Dan: Consistent.  Blessed.  Calm.  

Sarah:  Intentional.  Pruning.  Peaceful.  

7. What were the best books you read this year?

Dan:  I didn't read any books this year.

Sarah: (still reading) Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Dan: Sarah and our kids.

Sarah: Dan and our children. Also, deepening my friendships with Jill S., Rebecca Y. + Sarah P. 

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

Dan:  I think more like an "adult" now.  From every perspective.  I feel like I have a better perspective on what matters---and what is just drivel.  There's so much drivel in these world.  I don't perform for people like I used to...even people I respect.  

Sarah:  I feel like I've changed in so many ways.  I'm becoming steadier...not so shaken by every little external change or experience.  I still struggle with fear in some ways, but the Holy Spirit has filled me with peace, as I learn to trust God and lean into him more in my day to day life.  

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

Dan:  I have no emotions.  ;)  Emotional growth for me would be experiencing emotions.  I think I'm becoming more compassionate.  

Sarah:  Some areas I am working on:  No more martyring.  Measuring/expressing my expectations clearly.  Setting boundaries emotionally, realizing that I am not responsible for the happiness/contentment of others.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?  

Dan:  I've realized that it's ALL the Lord.  I trust God.  God is sovereign.  My only challenge is to see what God is doing and see how I'm a part of it.  I don't have to create it.  

Sarah:  I'm learning to really rest in God's presence.  No more striving.  No more performing.  I don't have the energy for all of that.  It's life + energy draining.  Jesus came to give life ...truly I'm learning that his yolk is easy and his burden is light.  With God's help I'm shedding the burdens and weights in life, Jesus is strong enough to carry those.  I want to live in light of the joy and hope that comes with salvation in Christ!  Time spent in the Word and enjoying God's presence in all areas of my life will be my priority in 2013.    

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

Dan: I shrunk!  (256-218)

Sarah:  Growing a baby.  :)

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

Dan:  I enjoy conversating with people more.  

Sarah:  I am learning to be present and really working on being a better listener....which means being quieter.  Significant, lasting relationships are built on trust and "leaning in" to another person (friend or family) no matter what life brings....

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Dan:  Preaching.  (at work)  A finished project.  (at home) 

Sarah: Learning more about who God has created our children to be.  Seeing some fruit from training the kids to contribute to household responsibilities.  Their help is such a blessing as our family grows!

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Dan:  Striking a balance of engagement.  (at work)  Being present.  Even when things need to be "done".   (home)

Sarah:  Feeling (often) that I am at the end of myself.  Self-sacrifice.  It is a joy and a challenge all at the same time.  

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Dan: Tetris.   

Sarah:  Time reading articles/blogs.  I've pared down "what" I read to (mostly) enriching, challenging, encouraging material...but I still sense that I need to be more intentional about "when" I do these things.  For instance, not reading a blog while Graham is working on his math lesson.  Using my time wisely is a goal for 2013.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?  

Dan:  Spending it with family.

Sarah:  Engaging and discipling our children and investing in our marriage.  

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

Dan:  Just listen to your wife.  

Sarah:  Be intentional.  Trust God.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you.

Dan:

Sarah:  

Blessings + favorites

This morning, I caught a glimpse of this:

and it took my breath away.  

How many moments, like Mary, mother of Jesus, have I treasured up all these things and pondered them in my heart?  (Luke 2:19)  More than I can count!  It's one of the many things I love about recording our memories here on this blog.  These memories are a treasure, a gift from the Lord.  

I'm not raising the "savior" but raising a child is hard, holy, precious work.  The other night, Dan said, while watching the kids, "I'm trying my best to engrain this moment into my memory."  I smiled and laughed!  I couldn't have said it better!  I feel that way hourly, it seems.  Even in the hard moments of mothering, it seems that God ,in his rich mercy, provides perspective and grace.  I know that these precious moments with our children are just a blink in time...in the span of their lives.  What a privilege to witness the making of these future man and women. 

That candle is one of my favorites!  It is some type of fresh pine scent from Mrs. Meyers brand.  I burn it from morning till night.

I think Trader Joe's makes the YUMMIEST semi-sweet chocolate chips!  I've been enjoying them   all by their yummy little selves, but I can't wait to load up some homemade cookie mix with these bad boys and some pecans, too!

My favorite Pandora station "George Winston (holiday)" plays all. day. long. in our living room.

I discovered "kits" this week at our public library.  Each day, for the first thirty minutes of quiet time, Graham reads his chapter book (currently reading "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever") I lay down with Camille for the first part of her nap, and I've needed something "independent" for Reecie-our beginning reader.  I was looking for the old school tapes with books at the library, but these are even better! She LOVES following along with the books on cd and it makes her feel so big to have her cd walkman and headphones on.

We have been working on memorizing Exodus 20 with a song and hand motions this semester in Classical Conversations.  I put the self-timer on my camera to work so that I can remember these precious moments with our children!  I didn't notice at the time, but the way Reecie is helping Camille with her motions makes my heart just ache with love for them!

I feel like this Christmas/advent season, I am moving slower, enjoying the ordinary, savoring these moments more than I ever have before.  I'm just so grateful for God's grace and the opportunity to set a comfortable pace.  No rushing, no hustle and bustle, no unrealistic expectations on myself or on the kids.  For me, this has been one of the greatest blessings in our home school journey so far.  Pacing ourselves.  Being intentional.  Not feeling the constant external pressure to be, do, and fulfill obligations.  I am a happier, more content person, and I think it is making a difference in the way that I nurture and love our children.  So thankful for these people God has entrusted to Dan and I!

sweet

The girls and I got a hankering for cupcakes tonight...and so we made 'em!  We're working on taking turns with the spoon in the kitchen.  Everyone wants to stir.  ;)

Here's "C-licious" after her nap, buck nekkid, chowing down on a  cupcake.  I love her warm snugs and sweaty baby head smell when she wakes up...can't get enough of my Millie girl!

She was so tickled with the way her voice sounds when she has her mouth stuffed full of cupcake.

One of our favorite traditions is the Christmas book basket.  So cool to watch the kids pour over these books, some familiar and some new to us this year.

Look at this little sweetie!  Eighteen weeks now.  

Feeling good.  Feeling sleepy.  Feeling HUNGRY!  Feeling some growing pains (round ligament).  Feeling little bumps and flutters.  Feeling so, so, so thankful.

{first} trimming the fresh tree

This is the first year we've bought a fresh tree in our ten years of marriage.  I never had one growing up because we had a house of allergic people.  I LOVE the way it smells, the beautiful imperfection of the branches and we had so much fun picking a tree out together.

Dan empathizing with our cute tree-it has a lean. :)

Tree decorating always includes donuts and hot chocolate...Reecie always reminds us!  

Millie hugs and kisses her favorite ornaments.

My parents gave this one of Santa in a pink convertible to me on my 16th birthday Christmas...Hannah Reece thinks this one is hysterical.

Dan throurougly enjoying ;) the task of separating, checking and sorting lights.

Everyone with their "favorite" ornaments

Millie throwing a raspberry in there for comedic relief...she loves to make us laugh!

The first ornament on our tree -- J for Jesus.  He's the reason for all of this!

It took three kiddos to help me let go of my perfectionistic ways....it was awesome to watch the kids put the ornaments on themselves this year.  Graham helped us hang ornaments on the high branches...he's getting so tall! It's my favorite tree EVER!  As Camille says, "it's so boodaful!!"

Home Brothers

Johnathon and Graham go WAY back.  I first met their family when I was pregnant with Graham and Johnathon was a new baby!

Johnathon, Oliver, Graham + Aiden at Trunk or Treat

Johnathon celebrated his 10th birthday last week and Graham will be 9 next month.  Though completely different in personality, these boys are so awesome together.  Jill and I laugh that it's like watching two little old men interact, and it's been this way since they were little!  They almost anticipate each other's next idea or thought because they know each other so well.  Now they call each other "home brother" and love talking about how they will design their bachelor mansion with a bowling alley, giant pools, movie theaters.  Their plan is to play all day long in their bachelor pad leaving no time for anything else.  Like a job. :)  So funny.  Today, I snapped a pic of Graham's birthday sentiments for his home brother:

A few from the point 'n shoot + baby update

Crazy boy snagged my camera. That's his fierce face.  I think we are at Panera?  

Dan and I with Krista from International Justice Mission.  She is going to be the field director for IJM's Cambodian office.  A TRUE hero in my eyes!

 Millie Grace singing her heart out...probably "Wheels on the Bus" or "Jingle Bells".  Gosh that girl makes my heart melt.

 And now hand motions.  :)

 And this one's from today.  The kids got candy canes at Community Bible Study today and Millie LOVED hers, except she did not love the sticky film left on her hands after she practically inhaled the thing.

Baby chose NOT to let us sneak a peek at the 16 week ultrasound....so content to be snuggled up in the fetal position with feet strategically placed.  :)  Funny enough, we had planned a gender reveal party with grandparents, aunts + uncles and cousins that night.  We've got another appt. scheduled for the 17th...hoping to find out this time!  More importantly than gender, baby looks very healthy, and I'm so thankful.

As of this week, I am 18 weeks along.  Here's a little picture of what baby might look like: